I dedicate this to all of you
Current mood: thankful

You all have a played a part in my life,whether positve or negative I am still thankful b/c good comes out of all things.I thank my Lord upon every rememberance of you. Phillipians(not sure of the referance,sorry)You've all helped me to learn and to grow.Thank you!
This is a comment I left for ojesuslovesyousomuch on xanga,regarding a post she wrote about what had been on her heart regarding what shes's been through similar to what I'been through.I dedicate it to you all, especially those at the Rock:
Ted,Joyce,Penny,Jess,Brandon,Tyler,Paul,Celia,Becca,Nikole, Rachel,Chad,Rose(I think thats her name,I'm so bad with names)Mimi,Mikaela,Melissa,Christian,Phil,and many more! if i didnt write your name here you're included also.It's hard to remember some of your names but you all hold a very important place in my heart.Thank you all! I love you guys! Thank you Lord for what You're doing! You all mean so much to me!
here is the comment i sent to ojesuslovesyousomuch:

Hello, I want to express my thankfulness for u sharing this.I have been struggling with all these things including the back problems.I am 21 and the only christian in my family. I have been with the same church since 2002,when I was born again.Have gotten close to many families and all of which have left the church b/c of a spirit of disunity except for one that I simply just feel rejected from.I have seen this spirit of disunity over the church for a long time now, sord of like a cloud.I have been trying to warn others and asking them to pray about it.Only few had belived me.The church is so broken right now and I have seen youth pastors,assistant pastors, pastors and youth leaders and elders, leave or be asked to resign many times in result of failure to resolve disagreements,  since Ive been attending there.I can still dive into the worship there no matter who talks to me but every time I leave there I feel more destruction in my heart and the feeling that i can't grow there ne more.I have been hurt and rejected by many people and families there and still  am going through the healing from offenses and hurt I've felt. It's caused me to question christianity and the truth about if there really is a God and if so why would He let someone like me who is the only christian in my family feel so rejected and allow all fellowship to be taken away from me?Ive had best friends walk out on me on countless occasions.

 Well,it took me getting to the point where I gave God all my expectations and and all my wants and needs.I got to the point where I didn't care ne more what church He wants me at, if I had to let go of all the friends,families,the feelings,the false hope I was hanging onto that they would just magically mend, as long I was somewhere I could live out His will for me in my life. The next challenge was looking to Him to show me where to go next.

Ive had words spoken over me many times in the past year that I was going through a season.I now know what the Lord was talking about.I have struggled with feelings of abandonment, rejection, abuse,and low self esteem a good portion of my life.I  belive I made it through this past year  relying on the Lord and I know he has been leading me  b/c if I can leave these friendships and families and hopes at His throne although it kills me inside, I am willing to look to Him to follow Him wherever He takes me. I have struggled with making getting favor from man an idol in my life for a long time.But Praise God it's broken!

I have decided to leave the church and not b/c of the offenses.I want to follow the Lord,His promises for me, His purpose for my life even if it means the cost of my friends and families to reach them.I love the Lord!I've prayed about this, have had confirmations through prophesy and His word.(verses in the bible)I wasn't growing in the previous church and know the Lord is taking me somewhere else.Im attending The Rock where Ive been visiting the past 2-3 months,and I'm not exactly sure yet its where the Lord wants me permanatly but I have grown since Ive been attending.And The Lord brought me bak to another family who had also left the previous church.Many people at the Rock have played a role in what the Lord has been teaching me.Everyone there is so loving,accepting,no competition,you can sense the spirit of the Lord as soon as you walk through the door,its different.I'm being fullfilled every sunday I attend.I can agree with everything they believe.And the pastor  and his wife have reached out to me and shown me the love and truth about the Lord , wisdom,and just given of themself to help me in my walk,many times whether I have saught prayer or they felt led to reach out to me.

I apologize this is so long,lol.I just wanted to give you a better understanding as to why you sharing what was on your heart has blessed me so much.its very encouraging.It confirms to me that if you give everything thing to to Lord,He will take you through anything and guide you and that I'm not alone.I have also been learning lately what the meaning of a sacrifice of praise is.The gift He has given us is incredible, so great,its the least we can give back to Him.Never let the devil steal your joy! No matter how you feel ,how much it hurts,give Him your expectations and Praise Him!Every time you do that a battle has been won.the devil doesn't want us to put our faith and trust in the Lord,so everytime we praise Him the devil is burning up with anger.I know I am still pretty immature,and don't have as much experience in life as you do, but I am so blessed that the Lord has brought us together by the internet.Thank you for your words of encouragment,your wisdom,and your willingness to allow the Lord to use you to bless others.I am just one of many lives you have touched with the light of the Lord and He will contnue to use you  in the future. You have a gift.Keep using it!Thank you so much!Everytime I read yours and LynnGail's site which in now Gail2  i think,its on my list but any ways,You bless me everytime time.You help boost my trust,my faith, my confidence in the Lord.We may have never met, but I can see your heart for the Lord.And meeting would be such a great blessing someday Lord willing.Thank you for taking the time to read this.Sorry again this is so long,but I really felt led to share my heart with you.You're a great blessing.I pray you and your family would be blessed greatly!In His love, April Lynn    *  Jeremiah29:11  *James 1*

Posted 12/18/2006 1:52 PM by crazyalabasterboxgurl

 Actually I have been brought bak to 3 families now that i think of it.all from different seasons of my walk.God is so good! <3
Posted 12/18/2006 2:03 PM by crazyalabasterboxgurl

Hello Everyone

 Id like to know something.I just can't seem to understand this.And please, if you have any imput, enlighten me.I really would like to know how this world can be so self-absorbed.Especially when in comes to those indivivuals who are impaired,physically,emotionally,mentally,or even spiritually.I go out places and I see these "impaired" people and the looks and treatment they receive.It breaks my heart.I see the people who have perfectly healthy or mobile children. I don't have children myself, but I could never treat children who are in this position negatively.I wonder, have these people with almost perfect children entertained the thought ever, "what if my child had been like that"? Before or after they see these type of children and give the weird glances or turn away from helping them or greeting them, anything of the sort.maybe some people have been sheltered from knowing about the handicapped or mentally disabled and dont understand, or maybe they are just cruel heartless people.These idividuals didn't ask for this life and they can't help the fact that their parents genes either didn't match up or the behaviors  the parents that caused these results.Why don't these children deserve to have the most normal life possible? Why am I encountered with the question about what other people with think when I bring one of these children home for maybe a few hours or into the public to be part of a family or society that some of these children don't have?How can people just walk out on their children when they are the cause of this?How can society look at these children as if they are disgusting or not worth anything or different?I love the kids I take care of and frankly I don't  care how anyone views me for it.They deserve to be loved just the same as anyone else on this earth,don't they? Yes, they are different, but aren't we all?If people would just give the less fortunate a chance they would see they are people too, they have feelings, they bring something to this world.They are all gifted in different ways. They see the world in a different light.I've come to realize that they have been some of the most happy people Ive encountered in life.And look at the life they may have, and they are still happy people enjoying life.And why is it that people who are so called "normal" can't? Before you complain about how bad life is, or how bad your family is,think about those  who can't walk, can't talk,or are in some kind of facility for the rest of their life,have no family, or rarely ever see them, who receive the cold treatment or glances when in public, who may be thought of as worthless.I think we all get a little selfish sometimes, but please be thankful for the quality of life you have and when you see someone who is less fortunate,be thankful once again, and instead smile or say hello,do your best to make them feel like people with feelings too and help improve their quality of life.The Lord put us all here for a reason.Noone deserves to be treated badly especially when they cant help their circumstances.We all want to be loved and accepted.We all have a purpose.So please I'm asking you be considerate of others.

Smile

Love

Forgive

Help

Accept

Live

Add, don't take away                                        

Never give up                                       

Be thankful                                      

                                       Make a difference